About Him
I'm in a frowned upon job and seek a whiny shrew for mutual psychological torture, tepid and unfulfilling sex and future divorce.
I enjoy smoking, drinking, petty theft and pornography.
I can't stand bowling, and the last album I bought was Cannada's Greatest Hits.
I spend a lot of time yelling at little kids that step on my lawn.
For fun, I enjoy browsing other people's profiles and making shallow judgments about their employment, and social skills.
I love to give compliments that prominently display my gender stereo-types.
Everything I need to know about life I got from watching The Simpsons.
I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing pointless quotes of classical works, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.
Im not pretty but probably not ugly enough to scare your dog.
I'm actually 36 but look 46
and feel 56.
About His Ideal Match
Looking for a man-hating, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement
and unrealistic expectations.
Over time you will project all your dady-issues on me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had.
You filled your profile with generalities, and yet you expect guys to guess what you are interested in when writing to you.
While you are technically still married, your husband doesn't seem to care - or so you assure me.
Through a technicality you are currently not under court supervision or otherwise grounded so we can actually do stuff.
You feel very strongly about woman's rights and equality when it suits your purpose.
You feel that man should put up with your sh*t, because you are a woman.
Bonus points if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take your
time with me.
For our first date we should head over to the Warehouse. You wouldn't
have to get all dressed up an stuff, I could find out what your favorite color
was and you could find out if I blush when we walk through the lingerie
section.
It would be awesome if I don't hear after our first date that you were rated "E" for everyone.
I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with
regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and
pills.
